Tigerlad: "Real men wear eyeliner." RowanMegaera: "Plans are for sissies."
I've never been good with introductions. I wish I could share myself in such a way that transcends words and reveals my deepest essence, but I'll have to be content with mere words. I can't think of a word that describes me better than bohemian. I aim to be a passionate defender of Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love, and am constantly seeking these things in my life. I find ecstasy in a song, a dream, a gaze, a cuddle... though I often think cuddles are the best of all (and I've nearly passed out from the intensity of them!) I'm a gentle, anachronistic, visionary, hopelessly romantic geek. I have always been a dreamer and an outsider's outsider.
I care deeply about many things. Compassion and understanding between cultures, religions, and people in general. Animals. Kittens (tigers!), dolphins, wolves, bears, pit bulls, pugs, and everything else. Creativity. Ecological awareness and sustainability. The ineffable mystery of the human eye, and the sacredness of silently gazing into the eyes of another. Helping people find beauty and a love of learning and life. Taking the best of the past, and the beauty of fairy tale, and making it a part of our own world. Taking theatre off the stage and giving our inner archetypes permission to play.
Some fetishes (not necessarily sexual): Cemeteries after dark, things made by WETA, pirates, biting and nibbling, old castles, old books and bookshops, anything Monty Python, fantasy art, hair braids, hair colours, eyes that melt, boots, rocks and gems, epics, historical and geeky goth aesthetic, chainmaille, staves, girls looking dreamily into the clouds, Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice, Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge, motorscooters, boxes of old treasure. :)
Oh, and I'm a (predominantly) straight male, though I know sometimes I don't read that way.
To the Naive, Impractical, Idealists, Dreamers, and Romantics (yeah, you!)
I want you to know that you're appreciated. You are an inspiration, and you're very much needed in this world. I wish there were more of you. Many more. Without you, I would really be lost. With you, I'm not alone, and I know that all is possible.
I know it takes hard work to be who you are in this world, and maybe if some of you thought about how nearly impossible it is, you'd give up on it. So please don't think about it. Just keep doing what you're doing, keep dreaming. If anyone tells you it can't be done, fold your first, third, and fourth fingers under your thumb and show them what's left. Be who you are, not who others tell you to be...
Know that you're not *really* impractical or naive. Imagine what you could accomplish with just one other person to encourage you and believe in you. I think about the inspiration just two such naive, impractical, romantic dreamers have been to me... and I say, that's the kind of thing that moves mountains.
To the music makers and the dreamers of dreams, you're the only ones who create a reality for me that I can really hold onto. So thank you. I just wanted you to hear, for once, that while some people might tell you you have your head in the clouds, what you're really doing is giving people like me a firm ground to stand on.
To every one of you: you mean more to me than I can possibly express. Keep dreaming.
My most genuine longings remain sleepily subconscious, until perchance someone happens to express them, and proves they're not so fantastic or foolish as to defy the law of what can or may be imagined. And they must be imagined, just as a single grain of sand must be wished upon! Every once in a while I discover that, not only can such ideas be imagined, but some brilliantly creative and practical people are actually putting them into practice. I wonder how I could have been so inconfident, could have ever doubted that castles can be built in the air. And so I dream. I am surrounded by objects that are, not mass produced or standardised, but crafted with patience, love, and care, and with the understanding that there are endless ways to make a bowl or spoon beautiful. I slide down my tree house, you out of your windmill, and we play Hook and Pan on our pirate ship till dawn. We stroll through our secret garden. The beauty of nature surrounds us, and everything else is a reminder of our own creativity and soul. It becomes clear that these aren't 'objects' at all, for they have merged, and become part of us. A four person bicycle adorned as a regal fairytale chariot approaches. Ethereal music as from a harp emanates from the spokes as they turn. Our friends disembark. We laugh, and blow bubbles. We frolic and head leisurely off to work. Ours is an economy of necessity. We grow crops, make clothes, keep ourselves warm. But we're alive, and we're grateful, and that makes it an economy of joy. We sing, and dance, and create, and relate. We do what we do because our souls require it. We are never alienated from our environment, our work, our actions, or our friends, because they are all a part of us. What we do has a purpose, and that purpose is life.
How to Love Me
1.) Encourage, nurture, and love who I am, and the potential you see in me. Be gentle and understanding, rather than critical, and please don't ask me to live contrary to my heart.
2.) Appreciate me. Allow me to share with you, and bring you happiness, in the best way I know how.
3.) I have immense inner passion, which when ignited, can take me to far away places. Please do not tell me who to be, or ask me to live in a particular way, but fuel my passions, and inspire me, and I will reach my full potential. "A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilites within you." -- John O'Donohue
4.) Make me something instead of buying me a present. Send me a letter. I treasure these things more than you know.
5.) Be open and honest with me. Be straightforward about what you expect of me. Try not to imply something and expect I'll take the hint. I probably won't.
6.) Offer to read with me. Take a walk with me. Play games with me. Learn with me: a language, a craft, a skill, an intellectual endeavour. Cook with me. Go to a festival with me. Travel with me. Just "be," in silence, with me.
7.) If you also enjoy physical affection, hug me, cuddle me, wrestle playfully with me. (Please don't do anything for me simply because you think it would make me happy, but only if it makes you happy too.)
8.) Have a stimulating intellectual discussion with me without attacking me or getting defensive. I seek to understand, not to convert.
9.) Please do not assume you already understand me well enough, but continually seek to know me better. Realise that I am constantly changing. "With attention, you will be able to discover many new and wonderful things: her joys, her hidden talents, her deepest aspirations. If you do not practice appropriate attention, how can you say you love her?" -- Thich Nhat Hanh
10.) Please gently make me aware of things I may not recognise about myself. However, I am very in-tune with my own needs, and I know what's best for me, though I may not always do those things. If I tell you I know what I am doing, please be assured that I do.
11.) Accept me, for what I am, and for what I am not.
12.) Don't neglect me, or leave me out of the discussion, or the fun. Consider me, and I will never fail to appreciate it.
13.) Surprises are wonderful, but not secrets. Please do not keep secrets from me, even if they're for my 'benefit.' Do not talk about me behind my back. Do not talk about others behind their backs. I will probably lose trust in you.
14.) Invite me.
15.) Spend an entire day watching Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, or Monty Python with me. (An entire day of Colin Firth movies, or anything that strikes your fancy, could also be arranged).
16.) Try not to make surface judgements about groups of people. Don't put people in boxes, and likewise, don't put me in a box, though I may belong to a particular 'group.'
17.) Respect my feelings and my intelligence. I am constantly questioning and reevaluating my own beliefs. My life experience, and my propensity for thinking through deeper issues, has led me to where I am now. Please don't assume my beliefs are illogical simply because my reasons are unclear to you. Allow me to be me.
18.) Try to love my stupid moments, too. I have on occasion forgotten how to operate a vending machine. I sometimes call red green, and green red, though I'm not red-green colour blind. The difference between 'leg,' 'thigh,' and 'calf' can sometimes still allude me. I may write 'allude' when I mean 'elude'. I recently thought a friend of mine would understand something because she studied psychology, somehow forgetting that she actually majored in theatre.
19.) Compliment me if you're sincere. If I feel inadequate about something -- my ability to dance like a human being, for example -- a little encouragement never hurts.
20.) Don't assume that, because you can't see it, it isn't part of me. (My passion is one of my most defining aspects, though I tend to keep it private, and it may not be readily visible to others on the surface).
This is just a general guide to loving the me. I understand that everyone expresses love in a different way, and I never want anyone to compromise who they are. So, the most important thing is, just love me the best you know how.
Just a few of my favourite quotes
Humans! They lived in a world where the grass continued to be green and the sun rose every day and flowers regularly turned into fruit, and what impressed them? Weeping statues. And wine made out of water! A mere-quantum-mechanistic tunnel effect, that'd happen anyway if you were prepared to wait zillions of years. As if turning sunlight into wine, by means of vines and grapes and time and enzymes, wasn't a thousand times more impressive and happened all the time. -- Terry Pratchett
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! -- Monty Python
Tis a pity wine should be so deleterious For tea and and coffee leave us much more serious. -- Byron
I can be the bad guy, anytime you want. It's called theatre. -- Me
If you want to sing out, sing out And if you want to be free, be free Cause there's a million things to be You know that there are. -- Cat Stevens
Real men wear eyeliner! -- tigerlad
I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But, once in a while, can't you choose someone else? -- Tevye, in Fiddler on the Roof
And if the poets of the age should surround me and each ask me: "Have I not imagined the most beautiful life?" then I would answer: The most beautiful life that has been imagined is the life of the knight Don Quixote who created danger where he did not find it. But more beautiful still is the lived life of him who finds danger in all the places where it is to be found, and it is to be found in all places. All creation stands on the edge of being; all creation is risk. He who does not risk his soul can only ape the creator. -- Martin Buber
When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them. -- Martin Buber
The world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings. -- Martin Buber
I believe that the very act of believing in something causes us to distance ourselves from that thing, thus a duality is created: oneself and the thing in which one believes. Now since we all know that in order to fully understand a thing one must be that thing -- walk a mile in its shoes so to speak -- it seems obvious that the state of believing in something inevitably causes us to not truly understand that thing in which we believe. This noncomprehension leads to all sorts of difficulties. "I believe in love" has a better than even chance of leading to divorce, while "I believe in God" seems to end in variations on the Spanish Inquisition. But -- and it's a big but -- if one were love, one couldn't help but be affectionate and caring towards oneself and others. If one were God, one would act toward all beings and all things as if they were one's own creations. And that, my friends, is the secret of life in a two-second vanity card. Of course, the secret could also be "Sit, Ubu, sit." We have to keep an open mind. -- Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #7
Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats Hegel [who, like all the Germans, is still thinking] . Heraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad, the Greeks are going mad. Socrates scores, got a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside. But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle! It's all over! Germany, having trounced England's famous midfield trio of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final, have been beaten by the odd goal, and let's see it again. [Replay viewed from behind the goal.] There it is, Socrates, Socrates heads in and Leibnitz doesn't have a chance. And just look at those delighted Greeks. [The Greeks jog delightedly, holding a cup aloft.] There they are, "Chopper" Sophocles, Empedocles of Acragus, what a game he had. And Epicurus is there, and Socrates the captain who scored what was probably the most important goal of his career. -- Monty Python's International Philosophy skit
This is my home, this is my only home This is the only sacred ground that I have ever known And should I stray in the dark night alone Rock my goddess in the gentle arms of eden -- Dave Carter
All we want, whether we are honeybees, salmon, trash-collecting ants, ponderosa pines, coyotes, human beings, or stars, is to love and be loved, to be accepted, cherished, and celebrated simply for being who we are. Is that so very difficult? -- Derrick Jensen
I should be pleased to meet man in the woods. I wish he were to be encountered like wild caribous and moose. -- Henry David Thoreau
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. -- Richard Bach
The Realists by William Butler Yeats
Hope that you may understand! What can books of men that wive In a dragon-guarded land, Paintings of the dolphin-drawn Sea-nymphs in their pearly wagons Do, but awake a hope to live That had gone With the dragons?
Love without Hope by Robert Graves
Love without hope, as when the young bird-catcher Swept off his tall hat to the Squire's own daughter, So let the imprisoned larks escape and fly Singing about her head, as she rode by.