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20 Ways to Love Me

How to Love Me

1.) Encourage, nurture, and love who I am, and the potential you see in me. Be gentle and understanding, rather than critical, and please don't ask me to live contrary to my heart.

2.) Appreciate me. Allow me to share with you, and bring you happiness, in the best way I know how.

3.) I have immense inner passion, which when ignited, can take me to far away places. Please do not tell me who to be, or ask me to live in a particular way, but fuel my passions, and inspire me, and I will reach my full potential. "A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilites within you." -- John O'Donohue

4.) Make me something instead of buying me a present. Send me a letter. I treasure these things more than you know.

5.) Be open and honest with me. Be straightforward about what you expect of me. Try not to imply something and expect I'll take the hint. I probably won't.

6.) Offer to read with me. Take a walk with me. Play games with me. Learn with me: a language, a craft, a skill, an intellectual endeavour. Cook with me. Go to a festival with me. Travel with me. Just "be," in silence, with me.

7.) If you also enjoy physical affection, hug me, cuddle me, wrestle playfully with me. (Please don't do anything for me simply because you think it would make me happy, but only if it makes you happy too.)

8.) Have a stimulating intellectual discussion with me without attacking me or getting defensive. I seek to understand, not to convert.

9.) Please do not assume you already understand me well enough, but continually seek to know me better. Realise that I am constantly changing. "With attention, you will be able to discover many new and wonderful things: her joys, her hidden talents, her deepest aspirations. If you do not practice appropriate attention, how can you say you love her?" -- Thich Nhat Hanh

10.) Please gently make me aware of things I may not recognise about myself. However, I am very in-tune with my own needs, and I know what's best for me, though I may not always do those things. If I tell you I know what I am doing, please be assured that I do.

11.) Accept me, for what I am, and for what I am not.

12.) Don't neglect me, or leave me out of the discussion, or the fun. Consider me, and I will never fail to appreciate it.

13.) Surprises are wonderful, but not secrets. Please do not keep secrets from me, even if they're for my 'benefit.' Do not talk about me behind my back. Do not talk about others behind their backs. I will probably lose trust in you.

14.) Invite me.

15.) Spend an entire day watching Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, or Monty Python with me. (An entire day of Colin Firth movies, or anything that strikes your fancy, could also be arranged).

16.) Try not to make surface judgements about groups of people. Don't put people in boxes, and likewise, don't put me in a box, though I may belong to a particular 'group.'

17.) Respect my feelings and my intelligence. I am constantly questioning and reevaluating my own beliefs. My life experience, and my propensity for thinking through deeper issues, has led me to where I am now. Please don't assume my beliefs are illogical simply because my reasons are unclear to you. Allow me to be me.

18.) Try to love my stupid moments, too. I have on occasion forgotten how to operate a vending machine. I sometimes call red green, and green red, though I'm not red-green colour blind. The difference between 'leg,' 'thigh,' and 'calf' can sometimes still allude me. I may write 'allude' when I mean 'elude'. I recently thought a friend of mine would understand something because she studied psychology, somehow forgetting that she actually majored in theatre.

19.) Compliment me if you're sincere. If I feel inadequate about something -- my ability to dance like a human being, for example -- a little encouragement never hurts.

20.) Don't assume that, because you can't see it, it isn't part of me. (My passion is one of my most defining aspects, though I tend to keep it private, and it may not be readily visible to others on the surface).

This is just a general guide to loving the me. I understand that everyone expresses love in a different way, and I never want anyone to compromise who they are. So, the most important thing is, just love me the best you know how.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 1st, 2005 10:49 pm (UTC)
Awww, Kate. *hugs*

I can't tell you how much it means to me that you've been reading my journal, and the honesty of your reply makes your beauty that much more evident to me. *hugs*

I'm going to send you an email, okay?
Jul. 2nd, 2005 06:26 am (UTC)
This Is Beautiful! If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Steal It!
Jul. 2nd, 2005 06:36 am (UTC)
Not at all. I'd be honoured. I'm glad you appreciate it. :)
Jul. 2nd, 2005 06:36 am (UTC)
Ermm... me... forgetting to sign in.
Jul. 2nd, 2005 07:20 am (UTC)
I Know!
Jul. 2nd, 2005 07:20 am (UTC)
Thank You!
Jul. 5th, 2005 01:49 am (UTC)
thanks for sharing this. :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


Arthyen Ocean

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